I’ve been feeling off. Maybe because its so dark outside and the days feel shorter. Maybe it’s frustration at work. Whatever it is, I’ve been feeling a lot of self-doubt. This post has been sitting in my drafts so I thought it was the perfect time to finish it. In hindsight, writing a blog post when I’m not sure about myself is a little tricky but it’s also a great way to open up and be real which is my goal with Caitlin Cosmetologist.
To clarify, when I say self-doubt, I mean a negative uneasy feeling that makes me unsure of myself or what I’m doing. It’s a complicated feeling that can easily spiral into something more. For instance, worrying about how well I’m doing my job may turn into worrying about my interactions with coworkers. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say worrying and uneasiness is exhausting.
I mentioned that writing this post was tricky. I wrote that as a sort of built-in disclaimer- if you don’t like my post it’s because it was hard to write while feeling vulnerable. BUT, I also wrote that because it’s true. One thing I would hear a lot when working with collegiate women is “Oh, I’m glad you told me that! I don’t feel like I’m the only one now.” or something along those lines. That’s what I hope to achieve by incorporating these topics into my blog.
It’s important to me to share how I work through anxiety and stress because my tips may be beneficial to you. So, for this post I put together some ways I eliminate self-doubt. Some of these are similar to the steps I listed in my last wellness post about comparison but they’re relevant to self-doubt as well because the 2 can be similar.
Identify the source: This is probably the most important step when dealing with any form of anxiety. I stop, take a breath and ask myself what specifically am I doubting? I constantly have a lot going on in my head. All the thoughts start to mix together and it may start to feel like I’m doubting everything. When I narrow it down I can focus on one topic at a time. For the rest of the list let’s use this example- I felt like I was taking too long with my daily tasks which made me think I wasn’t good at my job.
Make a plan: What can I do to change the situation? How will I handle it next time? When I felt I was taking too long I told myself to start my work right away and limit distractions.
Change my self-talk: Bashing or beating myself up for taking too long really doesn’t help. Instead, I recognize when I do well or don’t get stuck on something and encourage myself to keep that up. I also think rationally and remind myself that I just started this job mid-September and I’m still learning.
Make time for self-care: When I leave work stressed because I was too slow I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Which is annoying because I don’t want to think about it anymore! Distractions are very welcome in this case. Reading during my lunch is a great break during the day. Rest works wonders! I make time during the weekend to nap or just rest in front of the TV. Something as simple as texting a friend or getting dinner with J can take my mind off what’s bothering me, too.
Try again: I’m usually pretty hard on myself and can’t always shake it off when I mess up. But, it’s hard to have a good day when I’m carrying around the previous day’s baggage. So, I remind myself (there’s that self-talk!) to let go and start fresh the next day with my new plan. I’ll probably say this in every wellness post I write- it’s a process. I don’t want anyone to think that you can do a few things and you’ll feel better and then just be better. That’s unrealistic. You may linger in self-doubt for a few weeks but you won’t live there. If tomorrow doesn’t go so well, you have the next day to try again. The important part is that you’re trying.
When I saw this quote by Tim Ferriss I knew I wanted to use it in a wellness post. It feels like the perfect way to end this one.
The holidays can be a hard time for a lot of people. Please be patient with those around you and reach out to your friends that may be struggling. For those of you dealing with self-doubt, depression, anxiety stress, grief or any of the like- you’re not alone.
Thank you so much for reading! Here’s to a confident and happy December!
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